Waiting
by Smallville82and9
Summary: Clark's thought before 'Infamous'. Clois


Smallville and all its characters are property of the WB/CW and DC comics. I don't own a thing.

**Waiting**

I look over at the empty chair in front of me as if it was mocking me. I miss her. I knew I would since that day she walked away from me at the hospital.

"Why do these things keep happening to us"? The last words she spoke to me still ring in my head and I'm remembered how I felt we she said them. I felt cold.

I thought about telling her right there. That the reason her life seemed to have so much tragedy in it was because she was my friend, and the unexplained and dangerous things in the world follow me like a pack of hungry dogs.

I can't say I haven't always had a little bit of a crush on her, ever since that day at Chloe's 'grave'. If she hadn't giving me the perfect way to enter the conversation I don't think I would have ever found that right words to say.

"You're not alone".

I found out that she wasn't just that brash girl Kal-El had met in that corn field. She had many different sides to her. Like me.

I look at the clock at the corner of my computer screen and see that it reads _4:47AM. _I'm suppose to pick Lois up from the airport in six hours. I haven't grown any physic powers but I have a bad felling I'll be late.

The Daily Planet around me is almost dead, except for occasional reporter running by trying to finish there story on time. The mood on the whole basement level has been down ever since she left.

The whole city itself seems to be getting darker ever night. Am I helping things get better or am I only make the worst parts of the city angry and frustrated? I always tried to help people when I could but this is the first time I'm going after the darkness instead of just stopping it from consuming people.

I look over at the chair again. I _really _miss her. It always felt like no matter what terrible thing I saw or had to go throw that night before I could go to work the next day and she would make a bad joke about my wardrobe and smile, and I would smile right back.

The world wouldn't seem so dark.

Things have changed between us. I can't really explain it but somehow we've gone from friends that like to laugh at each other to something more.

I've lost count of the times that I've caught myself just staring at her. She is unbelievably beautiful. I've always known that, but it fells like I can't get throw the day with out looking into her hazel eyes at least once. It's like she's become my drug and I'm a junky.

I know. It's very sad. The truth is if we weren't under such unusual circumstances when we meet I don't think I would have ever got the guts up to talk to her.

The sun is starting to rise and the first light of the day is coming throw the window. I look at my computer again and it reads _5:15 AM. _

I know she can handle the truth about me and she would keep my secret, but I don't really want her to know. Everyone I've told, Pete, Chloe, Lana, Oliver, They all treated me different after they found out. They didn't mean to but they did.

It was if they thought it was hard for me to understand what it means to be human. They didn't treat me like I was a normal person, even when it was just us.

I don't want to lose that with Lois. Our back and forth agreements are usually meaningless but just the fact of having to deal with something that wouldn't be the end of the world if I lost had become a great release.

I'm not sure when it happened but after a while Lois started to open up to me, and getting Lois Lane to talk about her feelings is not an easy task. I remember after Oliver left the second time when she talked to me about.

"I can't take another heart broke down the road" she said.

Even then I often found myself wondering _What If_, but I found out that cold February night that I could never be that person in her life. I know Oliver was doing what he thought was right and there wasn't much I could do to stop him, but I never want to she her that sad again.

If things had ended that badly between them I can only imagine what might happen between us, if she ever felt anything like that towards me.

Even with some many things going own I fell like the big imaginary clock counting down until I tell her for good is ticking faster. It use to be hours, now its minutes, soon it will be seconds.

I check the real clock in the corner of my screen for the third time _5:25 AM _it read. By know the sun had reached my desk and whole room is starting to glow.

I've been told that the sun is the source of my power, that without it I would a normal person, just with different DNA.

The sun may give me my powers and make my body powerful, but I think I finally know what gives me _true _strength.

I remember when Lois had been taken by Wes Keenan. I was caught of guard and all I could do was watch as they both disappeared. I told to her be there. I told her I could protect her.

In the few hours she was gone I made finding her and making sure she was safe the most important thing in my life. Finally I found them. Wes was powerful, just like Lex wanted him to be.

No matter who I'm facing I always hold back. I don't know how powerful I really am I'm afraid of that day when I have to let someone face ever thing I can throw at them. But for a split second I felt like I didn't care. All I could think about was an unconscious Lois in my arms and I wanted to rip Wes apart. He came at me and I let him have it.

I regret that everyday.

Even though I later found out that I was completely to blame for his death it didn't take my shame away. As I stood there and watched Lois have to watch him die, I realized that I would do almost anything to keep her safe, and that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

But to ask myself not to as close to her as I am now is out of the question. She is, has been, and probably always be a great friend and just being around her gets my throw the toughest days.

Chloe once told me I could do anything. I didn't believe her at the time, even I have limits, but it fills like all I need is to hear her voice and I think that maybe I _truly _can do anything.

I hear my police scanner in the bottom part of my desk. I take a look around to make sure I' alone and I pull it open.

Robbery Second and Main street.

I put on my jacket and take one final look at the clock on my computer it reads _6:01 AM_. In five hours I'm supposed to pick up Lois and I remember my prediction of not getting there on time. I look out the window and I can see rain clouds forming. I take a look around after I notice I'm alone I take off.

Well even if she's mad at me for being late. It will be good to see her again. The storm will clear up into a sunny day eventually.

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_Well there you have it. Comment if you like. Thanks for reading._


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